eff this

I'm going to Pigfarts.

WEDO (oh look this is like an actual blog)

Last October, one of my favorite youtubers, Levi Beamish (an amateur director/film maker from New Zealand), started a month long video project called "Vlog Every Day October." VEDO. The video he made announcing it was super cute and it made me kind of fall in love with him.

Then, in January, I decided to do a parody of that video. At first it was going to be as a birthday surprise for a friend but then I realized her birthday had JUST passed and I didn't want to wait a year to make this video.

The first thing I did was watch the original video while transcribing the dialog and noting every jump cut. Then I wrote a script, changing just about everything Levi said to the exact opposite. I based my video off of my rewritten title "Wolves Every Day Owned" so where ever he was talking about vlogging, I was talking about owning werewolves.

After that, I went through the original video taking screen caps of very unique gesture or expression Levi made so that I would be able to copy it. Here are several of the 46 screen caps I took:

I studied these pictures and watched his video many times over the course of "preproduction" which was only about a two weeks from the time I had the idea to filming. I can still recite his video word for word right along with him.

Then came filming day. I cleaned my room, made my bed, and dressed to match his video as best as I could.

And I filmed. Which took me close to an hour. I shot in three different segments and did two straight run throughs before getting all the footage I needed. Editing all that took much much longer. Well really it only took about 2 hours but it felt like forever.

However, nothing seemed to take longer than Levi accepting my video as a reply after I put it on youtube. I can't even remember now how long it took, but I think it was over a week. In that time, I watched my own version over 50 times wondering if Levi was going to think it was stupid, left him page comments letting him know I was interested in hearing seeing some sort of feed back from him, and watching my other favorite videos from him while questioning my own mental stability. Once the reply was accepted, I only waited a hours before giving up on him ever saying anything to me about the video.

At first I thought not hearing back from this beautiful man would kill me since I was so proud of my video and I look up to him so much, but then I just realized it wasn't that important. I had fun making the video. It has made people laugh and that is what is most important.

I hope that making this video taught me something about vlogging for real. And I hope telling you about this was helpful/interesting as well.

lovies!

crap i'm messing up this EVERY DAY part of BEDA

not really idk. somthing.

today was good because I didn't die or burn anything at work.

today was not good because I had to work.

the end.

beda 9

http://gerilee.tumblr.com/post/508095086/beda-day-7-revisitied

lol

I love my friends.

the end.

untitled as of now

So I don't know what I want to talk about today but I don't want to do just another stupid post about nothing.

I've been trying to think of something to write for a few hours now and nothing has really come up. But I just had the idea to write a short story right here right now. 300 words sound good to you? yeah me too.

You ran your thumb around your iPod’s click wheel, scrolling down through 180 GB of song titles without really seeing them. You weren’t actually listening to anything because your headphones were broken from chewing on the cord. That didn’t stop you from doing it now.

Instinctively stopping, you pulled the headphones out of the jack and jammed your iPod onto the beat up docking station, pressed play and jumped to your feet. You danced inappropriately fast to the song’s slow beginning, knowing it would match the upcoming tempo change, and sang along loudly.

By the first chorus there were tears streaming down your cheeks as you thought about me and how this song perfectly described our break up.

You know you messed up and there is no going back. Neither of us can forgive you and it hurts. It hurts so much that all you can do is scream the lyrics and thrash around in the darkness of your bedroom and you never want it to stop because it will mean that we are over.

But you suddenly find yourself on the bed sobbing as the song ends. You scream my name into your pillows and my face is all you can see.

And then I stop kidding myself, because I know you don’t care and I’m the one crying in my bed as my favorite song that was never really about my completely imagined relationship with you plays again.

Ok, so it took me hours to write that. I hope it makes sense. That it is all actually the narrator talking about what she is doing the whole time. It doesn't have to be a girl, that's just how I picture it in my head. The song is Bruised by Jack's Mannequin but again it could be any song that makes one feel like that.

Feed back please?

And in case you were curious, it ended up being 240 words.

BEDA 6

haha even though I went to bed last night without blogging, I didn't miss today's post. haha I'm so cool!!!

Yesterday I went to Walmart to buy cheap easter candy but they had already cleared it all out. ): I still bought chocolate. (cool)

I started watching Angel the other night. Awesome so far. One of the characters is played by the same person as a minor character from one of my favorite TV shows from my childhood (Mark from Roseanne) I didn't know he was Irish!

I'm kinda afraid to go through tumblr right now since I haven't been on in 24 hours.

lol but as I say that I'm actually going through tumblr.

I should maybe have a point to things/this.

Oh not.

BYE!!!

last minute blogging.

some stuff I really like that I didn't like this time last year:

• Doctor Who
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer
• Torchwood
• David Tennant
• getting a good night's sleep
• hanging out on skype

yeah. I can't think of anything else right now.

(cool)

random post

I don't know if this is obvious or not but I actually post for the day before going to bed the night before. So when I talk about "today" I actually mean yesterday. (cool)

I wish skype emoticons were available everywhere else on the interwebs. but maybe not everywhere because then it would be boring and I wouldn't feel so cool when I say (cool).

I'm really tired.

Doctor Who is amazing. I only started watching it in January, starting with the Nineth Doctor. Finished in about 2 weeks time. then watched Confidential and Torchwood. Then I started watching the Sarah Jane Adventures but I only made it though the first season. It was just kinda dull ori got distracted by life or something idk. Anyway, I loved David Tennant (RIP) and I will miss him, but I really like Matt Smith. Can you say unf?*

ok I can't think of anything else. love ya!

*i'm sorry that is a silly picture. I said I was tired. but really, any picture of him will work.

questions.

I was asked some questions on my blogs so I figured I answer them. I hope the askers see this lol

Possum asked me "How is it being 21?"

Well for me 21 isn't really that big of a deal because I don't drink or anything crazy like that. The only thing that sets 21 apart is that this is the age where I'm learning what it is like to be a real adult. I actually have to work to live now and I'm learning that who/what I want to be/do isn't as important as who/what I actually am/do.

Anonymous asks "Do you like the idea of moving back?" in regards to me moving to California/back to the mainland.

In all honesty, no I don't like the thought of living in California. Whenever I've been there I feel so far away from things I know and love, and disconnected from my religion, which is a major part of my life. I have this idea in my head that I'm going to lose independence and a sense of self by moving there and it scares me. I don't mind that I'm leaving Hawaii, even though I finally feel like I'm starting to have a life here. California just isn't where I'd like to go. I'm doing what I HAVE to do right now.

And now to leave you with an amazing thing I found on tumblr today. It is called SolarBeat. I want to write a song to it but I have no skill.

Feel free to keep asking questions! love ya!

I have an announcement

I'm moving back to the main land in a few months. to California specifically. apart from 3ish people, I haven't told any one yet.

SURPRISE!!!!!

I'm going to miss Hawaii. It kinda sucks that just as I really start LIVING here, I have to go. I just can't afford it.

It is that time of the year again

and yeah, I mean BEDA.

I know MJ hasn't like started this up this year but I decided (about 10 minutes ago) that I'm just going to do it. Who knows how well this will go.

things I have done in the last year

• moved to hawaii
• started a collab channel on youtube
• started a personal vlog
• cat-i-tude/OperationHPValerie
• got a job
• went to NYC
• watched the new seasons of Doctor Who (omg the new episodes start this weekend I'm so excited)
• kinda fell away from the church
• got back into the chuch
• turned 21

I don't really know what else. I can't think right now.

Some of this stuff I've already talked about in this blog but whateves. It isn't like I'm going to actually tell you what any of that really means right now anyway. haha!

have a great day!

I actually miss high school

-marching band
-playing music daily
-seminary
-homework that didn't require my brain that much
-not having to worry about stuff
-drama
-actually having time to write because I wasn't on the internet
-something of a love life even if that means I was really pathetic


this doesn't mean I'd want to relive high school or just stay in it forever. that's not healthy. at all. I just want to be more like the person I was then while still being who I am today.

Readers?

So I am about half way through writing a short story. I plan to have it done in the next few weeks. and then I was wondering if anyone would like to read it? I want to send it out for publication or use it as a sample thing when I contact editors/agents/scary writer people, so I would want a lot of feed back on it.

it is about a boy about to start his last year of high school and he doesn't know what to do with his life. He feels stuck. Then a girl comes into the picture and helps him get unstuck by breaking into a graveyard at night. approximately 2500 words.

just so you know, there is some mild language in it. I really believe in writing how the characters would speak. and well, they don't speak like me. No f-bombs or either b word. like I said. mild language.

It's young adult fiction. my intended audience is 14+ and it's a romance. but I'm hoping that boys will like it too. My main character is a male, so this is new territory for me. Though the audience is kinda young, I'd like to hear from all age groups. Actually I'm hoping that the story will appeal to "real" adults too.

Anyway, just let me know if you are interested. most likely you are a friend of mine and therefor you know how to get a hold of me in a more secure setting, but if you just stumble across this and think it would be fun to help, contact me on twitter or facebook

thank you!

HEY YOU!

So remember when I ranted about how like, my life sucks and I am a terrible, lazy/depressed person?

WELL! I'm finally making a change. it's been a while in the making but I am just that cool.

I have motivation and goals. and plans. and I go OUTSIDE every other day!

So, that's all I have to say.

I'm cool.

Yours always,
Geri

Twilight Fan For Life

DISCLAIMER: This isn't pointed at anyone specifically although recent comments are bringing me to say this. I love you all and I just can't sit idly by anymore while I feel so bashed/while something I love is being bashed.

Yes I'm talking about Twilight. And Nerdfighteria. And Harry Potter Fans. And the whole We Are A Tribe thing (click the link if you don't know what I'm talking about).

I always thought the greatest things about Nerdfighters were the high levels of acceptance and tolerance. I thought we were a level 4 tribe, which is basically correct if I look at the group as a whole. When I look closer, at the individuals or at the smaller groups (like Harry Potter lovers) within the whole, I see that there is a lot of level 3 mentality going on. And it makes me really sad. No fandom or series is better than another. They are all differently fantastic, which would make the whole world a lot better if we all banned together and supported each other.

This is particually evident when I see what people say about Twilight and the fans. I typed "twilight is" into Google and the first suggestion was "twilight is horrible". "Twilight fans are" insane, retarded. What the heck world. What the HECK.

I'm not going to defend the quality of writing in the series (it is pretty bad) because if you take that away or if more capable hands penned the books, but the characters and the story were the same, I'm pretty sure that a lot of the current twilight haters would feel very differently.

It is a good story. When you read it with an open mind, you care about the characters and you want to know what is going to happen in the end.

"Now and again a fantasy world comes along that is so engrossing and exciting and intoxicating that you don't even stop to think like 'you know isn't it a little bit you know criminal for a 107 year olds to have relationships with 16 year old girls?'... You just want to keep turning the pages because while you're reading the book nothing matters more to you than the question of whether or not they will finally *awkward pause* do it.... It's fun, it distracts me from the pain and brokenness of the world, and it argues that true love will triumph in the end, which may or may not be true and if it's a lie, it's the most beautiful lie we have." -John Green.

All that, right there, is why I love Twilight. It doesn't matter to me that Edward is an old creeper, or that their love is totally irrational, or that the whole situation is ridiculous, or that Stephenie has bad grammar, or that the story couldn't be more cliche.

Ok, so all that said, it bugs the CRAP out of me when people, especially people I know, say bad things about the books and the fans. ESPECIALLY if they never even gave it an honest chance to begin with and claim that the fans are stupid. I understand that everyone has a right to express themselves but at least come up with original thought and have the decency to present an unbiased opinion.

HELP!

So I was asked to write a piece for the local newspaper on behalf of my church about an act of faith. I need feed back! so far I'm at 217/250 words so I have a some more space in case something is missing. Please let me know what you think! I have until friday!

There are three things that define me: my positive outlook, my mom’s death, and my faith in God.
I believed in Him when I was a kid but I never needed to use my faith. After she died, I still believed and I knew that He had a greater plan. Though I never asked “Why me?” I didn’t know how I could live without her.
Prayer hadn’t crossed my mind until someone made the suggestion but since I knew that God always answered prayers I figured I should try.
Lying in bed with my arms folded over my chest and my eyes shut tightly, I prayed in a whisper. I asked God if he would help me feel better about my mom’s death.
Without moving, I strained to feel something that would let me know he heard me and would help. A burning in my bosom, a feeling of relief, or an angel straight from heaven, I was ready for anything. No answer came.
Then just as I was about to give up and sleep, I heard the faintest whisper of a clear, gentle voice that erased all the fear and tension from my mind and body.
“Yes.”
Though that was all it said, I knew it meant that I’d always have the Lord to help me.


I don't want to end with a big explanation or like "this is how this has changed my life" thing. I want the reader to just KNOW that this moment is how I've been able to go on. I think that for this idea to work though I need to add in more toward the beginning but I don't really know what to say and I don't really like the opening line all that much. So... HELP!!!!

NOV

Oh HI blog!

So remember April? yeah, I'm doing that again starting tomorrow but instead of blogging, I'm going to vlog. I'm calling it NOV. November of Videos.

I've already roughly planned out what I'm going to do so no worries about me missing a day. you can watch on my youtube channel.

Why, you might ask, am I doing this? Well, there are several reasons. This is a good short term goal. And really there is no pressure if I don't do extremely well. I have not been very good at making videos for My Journey to Publishedhood, so this is a way to correct that. November is NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, and since I need to finish my novel I shouldn't work on a brand new one. However I wanted to do something similar without actually doing it.

Along with making videos every day, I'm going to be busy typing my fingers off so I can get that much closer to finishing my novel.

NaNoWriMers, best wishes! Any one trying any crazy do something every day November, good luck. Everyone else, just sit back and laugh.

love,
Geri!

Changes

How have I changed since graduating high school?

I mean there are the obvious things, like I'm not a musician anymore, and moved away from home. But there are so many other things that I've done/become.

Ok, so why am I talking about this? These days, when ever something/someone bugs me, I have to go to the internet to tell everyone about it. Either on Twitter or Facebook, sometimes Youtube and most rarely here. The internet is a big part of my most recent changes, so I think I'll get to that later.

My life has lost structure. It is something I know I need, but I constantly fight against it. I don't like routine and I don't like the pressure I get from being expected to run on other people's timelines. I procrastinate and I end up either disappointing them or getting it done but not doing my best.

TANGENT: I know that I'm probably clinically depressed. I don't feel rested no matter how long I sleep. I lack motivation. I have insomnia. I can be emotional. I don't want to leave the house. I don't make connections with very many things/people. I'm anti-social. Despite all this, I don't want to see a doctor because I don't want to be put on medication. I know some people need the medication but I see it as an easy out. It makes you feel better without actually dealing with the reasons one is depressed in the first place. Honestly, I've probably been depressed for the past decade. Ever since my mom died. But most of the time I felt it less because I was kept busy with school and music and church. But now, I don't really have any of those things in my life. (I guess this wasn't really a tangent after all.)

Fall 2008: I think the depression took a turn for the worse. Sleep was more appealing than going to class, even if the class was important. I started have even more trouble going to sleep at night. I lost all motivation to do well. I didn't care anymore.

In high school, I didn't have to really work very hard to be a good student. I'm smart and I pay attention and my teachers took good care of me. In college, I expected that the same study habits would continue to work for me. Let's just say that they didn't. And eventually, I could no longer take courses at my school because my GPA was too low. So I enrolled in on line courses, ones that I could finish at my own rate but had to be completed in a year, with the intention of reapplying to my school for 2010. However, since the courses lacked structure and I lacked motivation, I still haven't even started most of them and I only have 2 months until they expire.

I still can't find the motivation to do the work. I know I should. I know I want to go back to school.

I think I'm just going to with draw from these online courses and start over with a more structured program or possibly attend a local community college. I can't do school on my own, I just don't have that kind of will power.

School, I feel like has been the biggest challenge. But other than that, being away from home and, again, the structure there, I have had a hard time keeping my faith alive. I've never stopped believing, but I have stopped practicing the way I know I should be practicing. It's something else I need to work on.

What are some good changes that have happened in my life?

Well, interwebz, I've met you! And here, I feel like I might have a home. There is always something to do and I can get everything I need here. I've meet excellent, lovely people online and I would never trade them in for anything.

I don't think everyone understands that. More than anything, I feel like part of a community and that hanging out on Skype is really more of a social life than I would have ever hoped for in the real world. These people don't care what I look like or how I dress or how awkward I am, because they love me and they worry about all these things just as much, if not more than I do sometimes. They are always here, emotionally, to make me feel better, which is something that can't be said about a lot of people I know outside my computer.

I came into a bit of money when I graduated high school, so now I basically have everything I want and I didn't have to work for it. This is how I was able to afford an out of state university and moving to Hawaii and a trip to New York City. I know that if I don't make some changes, that this money will run out soon.

My biggest thing about finding a job is that I can't be bothered to leave my apartment. No that's not it. I don't really know HOW to look for a job but I'm too effing proud to ask for help, or I feel like I should be old enough to do this without someone holding my hand the whole time. But that's what I want, really. I want someone to guide me through this and I don't know how to ask the people around me for this help. I try to be subtle by just saying "I don't know how to get started" but that gets me no where.

This is really a rant. Nothing more. I mean, it's all true and I have major issues, but this isn't about how my life has changed at all. Well, at least not anymore.

I know what I need to work on. I think about it all every day. I don't know how to go from thinking to doing. So it doesn't help when those I love and that have the best intentions in mind tell me that I need to be getting my act together. It's not that simple.

<3
Geri

blogfail

I'm so sorry that I don't blog that often. and this post isn't really going to be that great. I'm sorry in advance.

Some things that have been taking up a majority of my time over the last few months:
1. moving to Hawaii
2. avoiding the job search
3. reading good books
4. youtube
5. skype

This will make me sound like an ungrateful little prat, but... Hawaii, big whoop. Let's move on. (I'd be willing to tell you all about it if I weren't so excited about other things on this list. Sorry. Feel free to ask questions about it and remind me frequently to tell you about living here.)

"avoiding the job search" sounds just as stupid as it is. It also exposes my laziness. shh... don't tell anyone.

READING!!!! I love reading. And I've done a lot of it since moving. I've read John Green's An Abundance of Katherines and Paper Towns, Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games and Catching Fire, Marcus Zusak's The Book Thief, and Scott Westerfeld's Ugliest, Pretties, and Specials. There are also the books that I've started to read but haven't finished yet: Harry, a History by Melissa Anelli, Extras by Scott Westerfeld, and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which I'm reading as part of this awesome project to introduce a friend to the series.

And then there are the books that I've bought because I really want to read them. There are five books sitting there staring at me, practically screaming at me to finish the books I'm reading so I can read them. Bad Geri.

Oh Youtube, how I love you so. I spend so much time with you that I feel like we're married. We have our ups and downs but I still love you and I know you're cheating on me with millions of other people but I just keep coming back to you. It's a difficult relationship, to say the least.

A few months ago, just after moving here, I blogged a little about starting to use my youtube channel to chronicle my Journey to Publishedhood. I'm still working on that but the videos have definately slowed down. I'm sorry if you are subscribed. I will make a video this week, I promise.

Also, I started a new channel with one of my former roommates, Lindsay. Basically we are just making video letters back and forth to each other and playing a game we kind of invented called Pottergrams. The channel is a medium to let our nerdiness shine, really. I love it.

Besides making videos, I've been watching a lot of them. Mostly Vlogbrothers, videos from my favorite bands, and, a new FIND, StarKidPotter, creators of A Very Potter Musical. Yes, that's right, a Harry Potter musical. They can't call it that for copyright reasons but that's what it is. I love it and I've watched it about 7 times so far. They also have show up called Little White Lie and it is fantastic. I just finished watching it again.

Actually a lot of the videos I've been watching are Potter related. I'm starting to get into Wrock (Wizard Rock, Harry Potter music) and I'm using Youtube as a way to listen to songs and geek out.

If you don't already know, Skype is this fantastic tool that lets people communicate over the internet. It is basically a IM service but it also allows users to conference call and video chat. Lindsay, (see above), introduced me to a group of her Skype friends about a month ago and so far I've made some very good friends. We have tons of inside jokes and we can talk about anything together. I love it.

People I talk to about it in real life sometimes think its weird that I hang out on the computer with a bunch of people I don't even know but I truly feel like I know them. It's been a long time since I've felt like I was apart of a large group that understood me and really cared about me. I had a great group of friends in high school, but most of them graduated a year before I did. Even though I had a great time during my senior year, I could only count on a small number of people to really be there for me. I finally feel like I have that kind of large community friendship again with these people on Skype. I love them.

So, since joining this chat group, I've decided that I'm going to Leaky Con 2011, where we are all going to meet and geek out about HP and sleep in the same beds and stalk our favorite HP fandom celebrates together. Also, we are annotating the whole series for a friend (which is why I'm reading POA). We watch youtube videos together and have deep meaningful conversations about everything from pornbots to love (jk about the pornbots, but we do like to make fake user names for each other, using our porn names. I don't actually have a pornbot account anywhere but let's use me as an example: gerilee, my twitter name, would become gerisex or sexilee if I were a pornbot. It's really fun to go through youtube accounts and make up pornbot names for famous youtubers). We really do talk about everything though and it is great.

So that's basically what I've been doing. Haha, since writing all that, I think I know why I don't really have anything to say about living in Hawaii. I spend too much time on the internet to actually do anything outside. lol. Really though, I do stuff here in Hawaii, but I FIND (musical reference) my internet life to be way more exciting.

Ok, I promise to blog more often. Thank you Jackie for reminding me that I have to do this. Till next time!

Lovies!